Many people take the ancient Greek proverb “to be angry at every turn is a sign of indulgence and lack of breeding” to heart. Whenever they encounter injustice or insults from others, they try to suppress their anger to be at peace.
Although suppressing anger appears to avoid conflict, we must ask ourselves if it makes us feel comfortable. What can we do to deal with anger?
Why do we become enraged?
Our prejudice against “anger” stems from mixing up “emotion” and “behavior.”
When our “personal boundaries” are violated, we instinctively go into a defensive state, commonly known as “blowing up.” At this point, anger reminds us that our personal space and fundamental rights are being compromised and that we must take appropriate measures to deal with it. If we repress our anger, we will gradually lose the ability to perceive and maintain our sense of personal boundaries.
As a result, we require anger just as much as pleasure, and it is critical to recognize the need behind the anger. We do not regard anger as an end but rather as a means of being aware of needs and maintaining boundaries, and even less as anger for the sake of anger.
How do we deal with anger?
The difference between “emotions” and “behaviors” is that emotions in our hearts do not directly offend others, whereas out-of-control behaviors can impact relationships. As a result, here are a few pointers to help you deal with your anger:
Accept your rage with dignity. Anger is a natural emotion; we don’t have to suppress it or even blame ourselves, as we do with remorse.
Learn how to say it correctly. Instead of cursing and shouting, try to rationally express to the person who has offended you, “I’m angry that you did/said that.”
Recognize the underlying needs that are driving your rage. When you are angry, open a “God’s eye” and look at what has offended you and why you are mad.
May we all find peace with our rage.