When you date someone you think you have chemistry with, you might be too excited to take things to the next level. Then, you start wondering how many dates before making it exclusive or Facebook-official. In reality, there’s neither a single answer nor a perfect formula to it. Some are ready to make it official right after the first date, while others want to wait for a few months. It’s all about timing, communication, compatibility, and several other factors.
Time Spent Together vs Number of Dates
Relationship experts say that two months is a decent time to bring up the idea of being exclusive or official. However, others choose to make it official after just a few dates. More than the number of dates, it’s about the time you have spent together and knowing each other better.
Even if you’ve had two or three dates only but spent the whole day having deep conversations, then you have more opportunity to know them well compared to grabbing some drinks for just an hour after work. With more serious conversations, you can quickly tell whether you like to be exclusive or official with the person.
Not everyone who dates wants exclusivity. So, you have to know whether that person is willing to enter into a relationship in the first place. Have they been saying that they don’t know what they want in a relationship? Did they just come from a painful breakup?
Have they been single for a while that they’re uncomfortable with the idea of a serious relationship? Pay attention to these things, so you know whether they’re ready or not to make things official. Meanwhile, if they said they’re ready to commit to a relationship, then this must be a good sign.
Talking About the Future Together
Determining how many dates before going exclusive also involves finding clues, such as conversations about your future as a couple together. If they’re eager to introduce you to their family and friends, then that means they’re interested in making things official.
Another sign is they love to include you in their plans, whether that’s traveling, buying a house, or even raising kids. If they love sharing these things, you know they won’t make a face when you bring up the idea of starting a relationship or making it exclusive.
Knowing a Lot About Each Other
Some people feel like they’ve already known each other too well after just a few dates. Others might have been dating for months but still, find it hard to take their walls down. So, if you want to figure out how many dates before making it exclusive, assess how well you know each other first and how comfortable you are with the person’s presence.
Apart from your favorite food or movies, you should know each other’s likes and dislikes, quirks, and emotional baggage. You know their political beliefs, family backgrounds, and everything else that makes them happy, sad, or disappointed. If after discovering all those things and you still accept each other, then you might not want to wait long before making the relationship official.
Treating Each Other Like a Partner
Before being exclusive with someone, try to observe how they’re treating you. Are they making you feel like you’re their significant other? Do they update you where they are or what they’re doing even if you don’t ask them to? Do they love making weekend plans with you?
Do they ask for your opinion before making a big decision? If you’re in that stage wherein you act like a real couple, then it could be the perfect time to start talking about becoming official together.
Having “The Talk”
Finding some clues may help you see how long you should date before becoming official or exclusive. However, it’s still best if you sit down and have that needed conversation. As they always say, communication is key. It can be dreadful, but you need to have that talk either way, especially if you’ve been in the dating game for quite a while now.
By directly asking them, you know where you stand and whether you’re on the same page. This helps you avoid any misunderstanding and feelings of frustration. Just make sure you’re ready to accept whatever the outcome of the conversation is.
The Bottomline
Dating someone you like can be one of the best feelings ever, but defining a relationship may also be scary and intimidating. Then, you worry about how many dates you’d have to wait before being exclusive. The truth is you can make it happen after two to three dates or several months. Find some clues and have that much-needed talk to make sure you’re on the same page. No relationship is the same, so choose what works for you!