Sometimes in life, you may feel obliged to tell someone that they aren’t your cup of tea. You prefer your own company, or you’d rather be around anyone else. Unfortunately, this is an awkward scenario to be in. No one likes to reject someone. Rejection is an unfortunate part of social interaction, as it creates negative feelings in the person who is denied.
However, it is essential not to be dishonest in your communication. Being honest will help you respect the person you choose not to like. Even though you dislike the person, it might come off as rude or could cause awkwardness between the two people if done improperly. That’s why all you have to do is to convey your message in the kindest way possible.
1. Don’t Just Disappear
Ghosting someone for not liking them is the easiest way to deal with the problem, but it’s certainly not ideal. The idea that you would not stay in contact with someone gives the impression that you have little regard for them. It is rude to leave someone hanging without an explanation. The thing is, you do not have to disappear. It is always best to break up with someone honestly, face to face, if at all possible. If you want to break up with someone, and you know in your heart that it is the right thing to do, it’s always best, to be honest with them.
2. Plan It Out
While rejection might be uncomfortable to both you and your friend, it is essential to let them down quickly. You do not want to pass up the opportunity for a fantastic friendship with someone else because you are afraid of telling them “no.” Once you are sure that you are not interested in them, tell them in a way that will not hurt their feelings much. Depending on your relationship, telling in person might be best, especially if you have developed a connection. If not, then a phone call or email is best. When planning about it, try to put yourself in the person’s shoes so that you can figure out possible questions or reactions ahead of time. You can use them to prepare for potential questions or responses to deal with.
3. Communicate Your Feelings Earlier
Be clear. If you are not interested in someone, talk to them as soon as possible. It is best not to be leading anyone on. It is kinder to let them know right away that you’re not interested. By being open and honest, you can avoid any worst situations. Besides, if you delay telling the truth, it will only cause you stress or anxieties in the long run. Thus, doing it earlier is better.
4. Talk With the Person in Private
If you plan to tell someone that you do not like them or when you have a problem with someone, you should always tell them in private. This is to prevent embarrassment for both parties involved. Furthermore, this will give enough time for both of you to talk more and explain things without possible criticism from other people.
5. Show Respect
Everyone has the right to express their opinion. However, not everyone has the right to make others feel bad about theirs. Just because you do not like someone does not mean they are less of a person. It is not only the right thing to do but also the courageous thing. The conversation itself is already unpleasant, so do not add more by being mean-spirited. Try, at least, to be kind and respectful to the opposite side.
6. Listen and Understand Their Comments
One of the best ways not to be offensive is to listen carefully to what the other party says. Everyone has a different take on things being said to them. Some may accept like nothing, but others may feel very upset. Some others may also rant you of leading them on. Others will ask specific questions on the matter. The best way to deal with this is to be patient in explaining your side.
7. Respond Indirectly
Another way to reject someone without being rude is by answering indirectly. Sometimes, people think that straightforward statements are harsh, so you want to mix them with an appreciation or something good about the person. For instance, you could say: “You seem like a good person, but I want to focus on my career now.” Most people will get the memo when you say something like this.
8. Don’t Confuse Them
Remember to keep it professional once you have already told the person that you don’t like them. Even if you feel apologetic and want to comfort them, it is not your responsibility. If you do this, the person might think that you still care for them and hope for reconciliation later. Instead, stay polite and treat them with respect. As much as possible, do not offer unsolicited advice and comfort to avoid false hopes.
9. Leave Them Alone
Unless both of you decide to stay friends, you don’t have to message them to ask how they are doing. Instead, please give them the benefit of the doubt by giving them space to move on. Sending messages or not distancing yourself will make it difficult for them to forget their feelings about you. Let them move on, and focus on what matters most.
10. End Connection if Necessary
It is important to remember that you need to set and maintain appropriate boundaries no matter how much you care about someone. No matter the reason you do not like the person, there will be people who push for more closure than you have time for or interest in. Remember that ending a connection is not rude if it’s for the best. They may not understand your decision, but choosing to continue a poor relationship is ultimately a waste of time and emotional energy. If this happens, stand firm in your decision. Tell them that you are sorry and wish them well, then shut down your connection if possible. If someone can not respect your decision, it might be best to just cut them out of your life ultimately, at least until the situation improves.
It’s not an easy task telling someone you don’t like them. Hopefully, you will never have to deal with such a situation. If you ever do, though, following these steps is the key to turning someone down in a manner that’s polite and effective without being rude.