The platform standard of casual sex is the proverbial friends with benefits status; this is a sexual relationship between two people who know each other but are not romantically involved. This can be a platonic relationship between two people who have no desire to date or commit to each other long-term. It’s different from randomly hooking up or having a one-night stand where people who have just met agree to consensual sex and move on without connecting again.
Having sex with a friend can be a consensual repetitive intimate experience or simply a one-time occurrence. The key and primary notable definition for this relationship is a platonic, casual, sexual relationship where both parties agree not to develop expectations.
Probably the biggest reason people start having sex with friends is that it gives them a safe sexual outlet and allows both to enjoy the act without the pressure to put in more romantic effort or commit to each other.
Even if you don’t have romantic feelings for your best friend, you can crave intimacy, and best friend sex can certainly soothe that intimacy itch. If you are not into one-night stands or hooking up with a stranger at a bar, sleeping with a friend may be good.
Familiarity is the key to the best sex. Years of drinking buddies and knowing each other outside the bedroom may be your ticket to the best sex ever. You can certainly skip the sexual learning curve together because you already know each other well. If you like each other well enough and find each other hot enough, it’s safe to say your friend could be down for it too.
You’re already comfortable with each other. Sex without anxiety and self-doubt can be advantageous and enjoyable. Since you’re already very comfortable with each other, there is no need to be anxious and awkward. Sleeping with your best friend can even be considered practice, boosting your confidence. You’ll be able to relieve all sexual anxieties and get rid of any fear of being sexually inexperienced.
Complications arise when one friend begins to have expectations beyond casual sex. Before you act impulsively and ask your friend to sleep with you, you must make sure that you are on the same plane about keeping it casual. When you’ve assessed your friendship and are entirely sure both of you will be down for it, here are ways you can initiate sex with your best friend.
Similarly, you would attract a possible sexual partner elsewhere; you must make yourself attractive to your friend so they notice how hot you are. You should smile, compliment your friend, and make them feel good being with you. When your friend notices that the extra attention you are giving is on a different wavelength, they will probably catch on soon.
2. Drop hints and make witty jokes about sex
No one wants a hot and heavy discussion about casual sex. The premise of sex with a friend is that it’s not serious or complicated. Drop hints and tease your friend about it. You can make witty remarks about your friend’s attractiveness or let your best friend know how good sex can be with you.
3. Ask directly
Test the waters, then dive in! There’s no better way to get hot and heavy than to ask for it. When the right moment appears and your sexual radars are open, go ahead and ask directly. You can either get turned down, or you both can go to bed happily together. It’s as simple as that.
4. Create the perfect moment to have sex
Don’t make sex with a friend become too casual to where it’s unmemorable. Your friend certainly deserves more than that. You need to create the perfect moment for it to happen. Ask your friend out and build up sexual tension. Set the mood for first-time sex with your best friend.
The friends with benefits talk should come after having sex at least once. Don’t ask your friend to have an FWB relationship with you when you’ve never even had sex! That would be like telling someone, “Let’s do this again,” before you’ve ever gone out on one date.
Friendship Should Last Longer than Sex
Above the sexual freedom and pleasure, you must remember that inviting sexual intimacy into your already established friendship may cause friction. You risk losing your best friend if things go wrong, or the awkwardness might set in after the first sexual encounter. If other people find out about it, you also risk their judgment.
When you enter into a consensual FWB relationship and decide that having sex with a friend is for both of you, you must learn to manage expectations and control your feelings. You should maintain reasonable boundaries to give each other space and not allow one of you to get clingy. Removing opportunities of falling in love — such as having sex too frequently — may be the key to keeping it casual and fun while sleeping with a friend.