Many individuals fear rejection. And why not? Rejection can really sting and hurt your feelings, primarily if you aim to grab an opportunity. In fact, if you’re like most people, you’ll see rejection as a stumbling block to success. However, did you know that you can use denial to your advantage?
You can overcome your long-standing fear of rejection with the “rule of rejection.” Moreover, using this rule can help you get what you want while still learning valuable lessons in your rejections.
If you’re still thinking twice about following the rule of rejection, then you should rest easy. This rule is founded on principles that help you unlock the full potential of your emotional intelligence. It turns out that processing rejections are a vital component of developing an emotionally intelligent mindset. Here are the things that you need to remember if you want to get more from getting rejected.
Accept Yourself and Ask for It
This exercise may sound controversial and counterintuitive, but instead of running away from rejection, you should instead seek it from people. What we mean by this is that you should never be afraid to ask whatever you want. This exercise should be applied to everything, no matter how trivial it may seem.
Now, we don’t promise that you’ll face fewer rejections by doing this exercise. In fact, you’ll get rejected more than ever before. However, seeking rejections will help you overcome your fear of it. As a result, you’ll feel bolder to take your chances despite the possibility of getting rejected.
Seek rejection for thirty days and ask for anything that comes to mind. For instance, you can approach a stranger and borrow a hundred dollars. Or maybe you can ask for a free room in a hotel. You can even push your luck and ask Costco if you can speak over their intercom. The list of possible things to do is endless.
In the middle of all this is one glaringly obvious possibility: you’ll be rejected in response to all these requests. After all, they don’t seem like they make sense for the people you’re asking. However, you may be surprised that some of these requests will be granted, no matter how crazy they sound.
All it takes is the courage to ask for what you want. With each courageous request, you’ll be able to build on your confidence to ask for more and overcome the feeling of rejection.
The second thing that you have to keep in mind is that you can actually turn a “no” into a “yes” using a simple question: “Why?”
Asking why after getting rejected gives you more room for negotiation. This is in contrast with most instances where you’re dismissed with finality because you didn’t bother to ask the reason behind why you were rejected. Of course, like the exercise we talked about earlier, asking why still requires courage from you. After all, their reasons might hurt more than just hearing the word no.
Don’t falter. Asking why after a rejection can give you an insight into the reasons behind the refusal. Consequently, you can use these insights to build on your following actions. Furthermore, asking this question will even allow your rejecter to rethink your request. Even better, they may come up with a compromise to meet you halfway.
Asking why can give you a breath of fresh air. What we mean by this is that you’ll often think of crazy reasons why you were rejected. As a result, you’ll just cower and refuse to know the reasons behind the “no”s that come your way. If you really want something, then you should be brave enough to understand why you can’t get it. Of course, asking why can also help you get the second-best thing possible.
The last rule of rejection is that rejection will never define you. What defines you is how you handle your every rejection. After all, our previous rules were all about building your character and mindset to properly process and respond to rejections.
You shouldn’t run from rejection. Instead, you should keep seeking it and be brave enough to do everything possible to turn it into a yes. Accepting defeat after the first no will severely hurt your chances of winning something in life. If you believe that success takes perseverance, then you should never forget that you won’t receive a no forever.
In fact, a no can mean differently from the perspective of your rejecter. It may mean no, not yet. Or maybe it can mean no, not the way you described it. So, always remember to properly process rejections and don’t immediately run away from them.
How you react to a rejection defines more than the rejection itself.
Rejection is indeed a difficult hurdle to overcome. However, you need to reframe your mindset to handle rejections better. The rule of rejection will help you do just that. Use it every time you get a no from someone.